Sleepless nights (not A-Z)

No word on my book and the necessary line edits. I suspect, because the agent is busy selling someone else's book, as reported in the press, anyway. My turn will come. So I'm waiting...which is actually time I could be enjoying. I can't imagine what that other debut author is thinking and feeling, but it must be intense. They are expecting a deal next week, apparently. A little of the anticipation has spilled over onto me.

I find it difficult to value my own book so I don't take publication seriously. I haven't heard from the agent so I assume she's forgotten it. When she drops names of publishers I find it hard to process the information. Who would like to see the book? Are you sure?

I could be relishing this time as adjustment time. A couple of months ago having an agent was terrifying and impossible, now it seems...well, still a bit unlikely and scary, but not as huge as it was then. I should get on and enjoy writing the next book because, at the moment, I'm not writing for an agent or an editor, I'm writing for myself. I'm following the characters and their adventures, I'm enjoying the research, I'm untainted by worries about markets and trends. I have also reminded myself: some people enjoy rollercoasters. I hope that other debut author does, and that she gets a brilliant, well-deserved deal.