Sunday, 22 April 2012
Every year, grief stalks me around this time of year, and again in August and October. Every year I decide to ignore it, distract myself, but every year I dream about my daughter in such vivid detail that I wake up with the feeling of holding her in my arms. I know it will go on the 28th, her birthday, and possibly before, but it bites me every year. The trigger, bizarrely, is my next daughter's birthday. She was born when Léonie was coming up to her third birthday. Here is the post for April 2010 and the one for April 2011. Grief is like being in pain, for me, I just want to huddle up against a radiator and wait until it goes. My niece, born a couple of months before Léonie, has just had her first child. It's just another loss, Léonie will never have children. I'm going to spend the day watching feel good movies and possibly eating chocolate and ice cream. Maybe cake. Sod it. Normal service will be resumed shortly.