A quiet start to the MA proper, just 6 of us sat around looking at the publishing project module. In addition to the actual assignment, there is a class anthology to create, with work submitted from everyone to be edited and squeezed into the booklet. It's not that difficult, but I think editing an anthology will be a lot of work just at the time when we need to be working on assignments. Which means some people will have to be editors etc. of other students work. The other option is to look after the course blog instead. I'm happy to have a go at that, it's in blogger which makes it even easier. Then all I have to do is submit something for the anthology, which is, after all, a showcase of our work. Seems straightforward, but because the group is in two parts, I have to wait around to see what the other half decides, and they might all want to take on the blog... They can't make me edit the anthology. Can they?
Meanwhile I have to do something creative (OK) and then write a rationale about it (Ah). I'm assuming this is a bit like the commentaries I've been writing, and I've got a fair amount of helpful suggestions from the BA poetry module handbook. But words like 'write a critical essay on your creative blahdy blah' trickle into my head like lumpy soup and just sit there, indigestible.
If I'm going to write an essay I need a big question and a load of research papers and books. 'Can traumatic labour produce PTSD?' (The actual question was a lot longer) was a pushover for my MSc. 4000 words summarising the relationship between the triggering trauma and the effect it had later, coming up. References, sure, pages of them. Case studies? Check. Clinical experience? Loads of it. Easy peasy. I even got a distinction and it only took a weekend in the hospital library and two days to write. (I'm showing off at this point). But 1500 words of Rationale (see, it mysteriously has a capital letter) is terrifying. I would hate to write something really creative and then fail on this thing I can't even identify!
People assume I will be doing fiction but I really want to do poetry. The thing is, I probably won't ever get another chance to take a poetry course and while I am learning loads in fiction, that's much easier to keep pushing forwards. Oodles of books, I even live near an Arvon centre. I'll be putting in a big chunk of the book for the dissertation and so I want to capitalise on all the help the course has given me on my poetry. The poetry module is pushing towards publication, so it will be good research for the publishing project too. I'll learn all about selling a book in class and about selling poetry in the other class. I think it's an opportunity I don't want to miss. I'm rambling, that's how insecure I am at the moment. Everything seems a bit like it's slipped its moorings and the tide's going out...