Friday, 23 October 2009

Looking back

I'm surprised by how far I have come in a few months. I'm writing fluently, yesterday I didn't write and I feel antsy about it, feel I ought to get something solid down now, despite getting ready for visiting friends. I have decided I ma never going to sit at my desk and go through my books, so have made a space for my BRB and my notebook next to the sofa, in the warm.

I have moved on from adjectives. Finally, I get it, they are overused in a lot of books, they are shorthand, they don't transfer the idea in my head to the idea in someone else's very well. All this while trying to convince no.1 son of this. Poetry is becoming a bit of a problem because it sucks me in and I can't sleep, so spend nights either writing or sleeping badly. Unfortunately, once I have written a draft, I really need to put it away and wait for a few days before taking any good stuff. In between - I sleep badly. It just rumbles on in my head, odd phrases and sentences. You can probably get pills for this... But deep down, I love doing the poetry, even though I started this course very nervous of it. I have no real problem with imagery, my problem comes when I look at a poem and have no idea if it's any good or not. Will someone else understand/like it? I'm beginning to wonder if the answer might be 'How much should I care?'. Certainly the BRB is going that way!

The other triumph of this course, for me, is that I now have a notebook brimming with ideas, freewrites, drafts, printed short stories and so on. Lovely rich source material - and I have already half filled my first book! And the garden looks very Autumnal, and the house is tidy and cleanish, I'm almost on top of the laundry, and my week is full and satisfying. On to TMA 02, the first draft of which is bubbling in it's incontinent adjective laden early form now. Hopefully it will be away before December so I can enjoy a month of celebrations and our few days away at Centre Parcs. Now - do I take my course work with me?

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