Started the MA!

Yesterday, I went along to my first class, called theories of creativity and writing. This module, which was the one I was mostly concerned about, turned out to be completely bearable! We are going to be exposed to various theories, and our assignment asks us to draw on that theory in a creative way. So we could have two characters discussing a theory, or parody a style, or do anything that draws on what we have looked at. The theory doesn't have to be something discussed in the course, it could be beyond it, so maybe a psychological theory will inspire a bit of creative writing. We are starting with the classics: Aristotle 'The Art of Poetry', a bit of the Iliad and Sappho's love poems (which I love). I love anything Troy and have read the Iliad and the Odyssey several times, and the Aristotle gets quoted everywhere. Lovely stuff.

The other module the tutor teaches is online, the Writer's Toolkit (which I think is a funny name). It's a series of weekly tasks we work creatively on. This week we have to pick a favourite author and research their theories about writing, looking for ideas on aesthetics and practice. Basically, what can we say about their aesthetic ideas from their writing? And how can I use that in my writing? Manageable stuff. Again, each week we are supposed to come up with a creative piece and at the end of the semester, submit 4000 words of the best/most interesting ones. The two modules complement each other, and he's going to teach them alongside each other so we can use them to inform each other.

The group was very quiet but hopefully will warm up over time. We did some writing exercises but didn't read anything (thankfully, I was so nervous!). Some of the time was taken up with people stressing about the assignment. The tutor is cool with it though - no rationale (unless we want to write one), no fussy formatting and presentation, just make sure it's neat and tidy and got your name on it! Fiction tonight. Plus I have week 6 off, so can go home for an extended break, which will be lovely because I feel disconnected with my other life, the one I'm going back to at some point. I ned to immerse myself in autumn and make jam and the solstice cake. I feel like the Devon house isn't mine any nore, I need to reclaim it.

I woke up full of a new start for the 'other novel', the grown up story I'm working on alongside the YA story. I wrote it down immediately and I think it does the job, introduces a lot of background without loads of scene setting. Here's a (very first draft) sample:

We went back to Chancel Hall in our funeral blacks, our shiny shoes. The police were waiting there. Tim stepped forward and put an arm around me. We hugged briefly, but I was conscious of his hand held in Samantha’s; her shiny new ring entitling her to share in even the private moments between us. Then the faces circling us, some tearful, some blank, a few accusing. As a policeman took my arm gently, murmuring something about time, my eyes found Rory. He was sitting under a table, already filling himself with the cakes my sisters had brought with them. And finally, Marley, eyes on my every move. Her eyes filled the world, so like Sorcha’s yet so alive, so intelligent. She lifted her chin, we had rehearsed this. But as people stared, it was me who broke down, sobbing in the arms of two police officers, at the thought that not only would I never see Sorcha again, but maybe Marley and Rory were lost to me as well.  

Chapter five and a complete review of the character and the book

Chapter five has thrown up the basic problem with my writing. I wanted this book to be a literary work, with an intense, interesting character at the heart. That has somehow transmuted into a book about relationships and romance even. It's become all story and the characters have drifted into stereotypes. My main character was supposed to be so different, so damaged by the death of her identical twin, that she somehow functions as both twins. Always wounded by the loss of half of her compound self, she's supposed to start to allow other people to fill a small part of that empty space, while allowing herself to fill in the gaps. Somehow it's become a story where the character has down shifted to a lonely spinster looking for love. This is not me. I seem to have accidentally channeled someone else. Possibly Barbara Cartland.

I realise that each of my three main characters - all women, all drawn to this place for one reason or another - are aspects of me. I suppose all fictional characters are, or internalised versions of our loved ones. There's a big part of me that never feels like it's fitting in, knows what to do, and that part is Emma. There's another part of me that is generous, gives, loving, funny etc. (all that stuff) and that is Lily. Olivia is my other alter ego, maternal, looking back with an older perspective, moving past motherhood, a crone. I realise as I plough through the editing process, how much of myself is revealed through all my writing. Not a comfortable place to be.

I've also been playing with a short story about an old person wrestling with forgetfulness and infirmity but trying not to let on how bad things are. My mother-in-law is 81 and in this position, and everything she does to pretend she can cope is backfiring on her. In fact, she can't cope and needs help. If she had more help, she could stay in her own home. Problem is, she thinks if she says she needs help, they will scoop her up and put her in a residential prison. It may come to that, but I'd like to squeak a bit longer for her autonomy. I don't really get on with her, but I recognise a certain bloody minded independent gene that I have myself. I'm going to be just as awkward, I suspect. Hopefully, I will have lots more support.   

Up to 40,430 words

Forty thousand words and coming on nicely. My problem has always been that I write short, intense books and this one is going that way too. On the plus side, I think it will get to seventy five thousand and I can probably rewrite to around that length. Short, but I'm not expecting to publish it. It will make a good screenplay.

The alternate project, on the other hand, is cruising along and only needs to be about 50-60k. I'm not specifically aiming to write a commercial genre novel but this is a good fantasy / young adult tale, with a good 'world' and room for sequels (important if you're going into YA novels). It was inspired by the facebook ramblings of my niece, who like so many kids, is unfocused and more involved with her friends than the bigger world outside. I've made a start, written the first seven thousand words, more as a speculation than anything. There are two first chapter(s) competitions coming up - one the prize is publication, the other is a weeks residential writing retreat with help. I can't resist entering although it has to be said, I have A215's TMA03 to hand in and it's not quite finished. If I have an hour I can work on it, but Chancel Hall comes first after the assignments.

I have had loads of help from my OCA tutor on a short story I handed in - bags of positive feedback as well but loads of criticism of the structure. Very helpful.

I am presently writing four - six hours a day and about 2-3000 words. Bit manic, but I don't want to stop. Once I'm in a writing habit I do get on with it, and the quality, for first draft, is getting better because I'm doing it more. They say the best way to get better at writing is - write! So I am...