Freewriting exercise for A215

I know I ought to be working on my prose pieces for the OCA course but haven't managed it yet. The freewriting brings up so much memory! I started with 'I Need Proof'...

...of aliens, gods, ghosts, anything really. I'm prepared to accept the subjective impressions of my my own eyes but no-one else's'. I don't even trust Russell's, really, it's easier to consider him misdirected or deluded than just accept his conclusions. Show me, prove it to me. I'm probably easily fooled too, but that's my permitted blind spot.

When I was a child, I saw flying saucers, or rather, unexplained lights in the sky. I hovered on the end of my bed, peering through horrible curtains that smelled slightly damp and dusty, and watched for ages. Looking, listening, blurry eyed with concentration. Then, fast, blue-white, small group of lights would move fast across the sky. Without any idea how big they were, I could not judge distance. I shivered in terror as much as excitement, looking over the black back garden, at almost the same level as the window sill. My sister slept softly on. I watched, vigilant for steps on the stairs, parent or alien, equally daunting. Sometimes, I would be wound so tight I would sleep under the bed. I still look out for the lights. They might be real, they might just exist in memory. But whatever they are, they belong to me, not the UFO world. They may be a delusion, but they are mine.